Power of Three
Our value is not dependent on accomplishments but rather on the life and light within. Purpose comes from being in alignment with our values and living by choice rather than by culture pressure or obligation.
As I get older, I’ve started planning downtime into my schedule—time for rest and reflection, time to play, and time to take care of me. The to-do lists will always be there, but at the end of my life, I’ll be more fulfilled and nourished by the inner work I did over a lifetime than all those things in my planner that I crossed off.
For those who thrive on planning and accomplishing, it can be a challenge sometimes to stay on purpose and in balance. Life is a moment-to moment juggling act of have to-do’s with want to-do’s. For me, reminding myself of my priorities keeps me focused on what matters and flexible enough to be able to change course when it’s needed.
A vivid childhood memory is of my mother and her regular companion, the Franklin-Covey day planner. With a family household to manage, that was her way of handling all the things—meal planning, errands, shopping lists, appointments, budget tracking, reminders, and personal goals. So for me, using a planner has been second-nature and I have utilized one every year since I was young. To this day I still prefer paper planners to an electronic version. There’s something therapeutic about writing on paper and taking the time to plot out the tasks, reminders, and goals.
As I got older, the planner was filled with more and more to-do things, and truthfully some of it wasn’t important but that temporary happiness in crossing things off the list was motivation enough to have it recorded. Adding more things to the list only made me busier, instead of allowing time to focus on what truly mattered and letting the rest go.
Life has become far more fast-paced and comparative-focused than in decades past. The digital age has provided easy access to more of everything, clouding the brain with often unnecessary distraction, pressure and even confusion. And sadly, the tendency can be to connect large to-do lists with self-worth—the more that gets done or is posted on social media, the more valuable one becomes.
Our value is not dependent on accomplishments but rather on the life and light within. Purpose comes from being in alignment with our values and living by choice rather than by culture pressure or obligation. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started planning downtime into my schedule—time for rest and reflection, time to play, and time to take care of me. The to-do lists will always be there, but at the end of my life, I’ll be more fulfilled and nourished by the inner work I did over a lifetime than all those things in my planner that I crossed off.
With time (and practice) comes wisdom, perspective and the ability to live a life that brings us in balance with our authenticity. In the past year, I have approached my weekly planning (and monthly goals) from a more realistic perspective. One that honors who I am, what is important to me at this season of my life and leaves room for me to experience stillness and inner growth. This approach is what I’d call “the power of three.”
The human brain is marvelous and capable, however, it does have limits. So for those chronic multi-taskers (like myself), focusing on the three most important things to get done today, this week or month helps me stay more focused, present, and feeling less pressured. Of course there are twenty-three things I could think of that I “should” do, but I have to remind myself to pause and ask myself if that is really true. Or is it just another distraction so I won’t dig into my inner-person that needs more attention?
Three (and sometimes four) is manageable, and after accomplishing the top three priorities everything else feels like a bonus and then it’s much easier to stop work for the day and spend time with myself, for myself.
Remember, you are worthy of nurturing yourself. And in fact, that is the best gift you can give yourself.